<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I told you I'm fine, I promise! by Lyndsey08</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28375641">I told you I'm fine, I promise!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyndsey08/pseuds/Lyndsey08'>Lyndsey08</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A/B/O - Remy/Emile [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha Remy Sanders, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Emile Picani, Bruises, Denial of Feelings, Eating Disorders, Genderfluid Dr. Emile Picani, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Mates, Trans Male Character, argument, transgender Emile Picani</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:09:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,076</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28375641</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyndsey08/pseuds/Lyndsey08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Emile and Remy are now mated and live happily together.  When Emile brings up someone from Remy's past, he feels defensive and insecure.  It becomes more apparent each day that Emile has some type of eating disorder but he won't discuss it or admit to anything, promising he's perfectly fine.  Remy tries his best to get his new mate to communicate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A/B/O - Remy/Emile [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I told you I'm fine, I promise!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*TRIGGER WARNING* - This mainly focuses on Emile's eating disorder and how it's starting to affect his life and take it's toll on his body.  If discussing eating or restricting eating makes you uncomfortable, please don't read!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey Rem?” Emile asked, still looking down at the knitting project in his lap one evening as they sat together on the sofa.</p>
<p>“What’s up, babes?” the alpha asked, turning away from his phone to look at his mate.</p>
<p>“I have an odd question, but I don’t want to upset you,” the beta started to explain, carefully moving to lay his knitting project to the side before turning towards the alpha.</p>
<p>“You know you can’t really upset me, go for it,” Remy teased.</p>
<p>“Umm...and you don’t have to answer, okay?  What...what was the name of the guy you went out with for a while before you realized he was mated…?” Emile asked hesitantly.  </p>
<p>The beta remembered but was truly hoping he was wrong.</p>
<p>Remy frowned, “Uhh, why do you ask?” he questioned, feeling nervous.</p>
<p>“I just...wondered…” Emile said honestly.  The innocent look in his eyes convinced Remy almost immediately.</p>
<p>“His name was Roman...and you don’t have to be nice about it, Em.  I knew he was mated after the first time and...I didn’t care because it didn’t seem like my problem,” Remy added.</p>
<p>“Roman...Sanders?” the beta asked quietly.</p>
<p>“Oh my God, is he your client?!” the alpha yelped.</p>
<p>“I can’t tell you that!  Doctor-patient confidentiality, Rem, come on…”</p>
<p>“Emmy,” the alpha said gently, taking his hand, “Come on now, you don’t have to actually tell me if he’s your patient.  But how else would you have that information?”</p>
<p>They were silent for a long while before Remy brushed his thumb over the back of Emile’s hand, “Well, he’s an awfully lucky guy if he gets to see you for a therapist,” he said, leaning in to kiss his mate on the forehead.</p>
<p>“Oh hush,” the beta blushed a shade of pink and nudged Remy with his elbow.</p>
<p>“How’s he doing?  Is he happy?” the alpha asked sincerely.</p>
<p>Emile opened his mouth to explain why they couldn’t discuss it but he saw something in his mate’s eye that caught his attention.</p>
<p>“I really fucked up his life...I know you can’t really tell me but, like… did he find someone?  I’ve always wondered if I ruined that for him permanently…”</p>
<p>The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them, “He has two mates, one of them is the man he was dating when he was also seeing you, and he does seem quite happy…” he paused and shifted as he realized what he’d just divulged, “But if you ever tell anyone I just told you that I’ll have to kill you and make it look like an accident,” Emile finished, deadpan.</p>
<p>“Really? That’s crazy,” Remy said, smiling fondly, “Good for him, I’m glad it all worked out,” he added brightly.</p>
<p>Half an hour later, Remy suddenly turned and asked, “If he talks about me, because I’m sure that’s part of what fucked him up, is it going to make you not trust me?”  The alpha moved to sit up from where they’d been tangled together on the sofa.</p>
<p>“You told me about it already...when I was seeing you as my patient, Rem,” Emile reminded him gently.  “It didn’t change my opinion of you then and it’s not going to change my opinion of you now.  I promise.”</p>
<p>“I’m not that person anymore, I swear.  I would never cheat on you, Emmy,” the alpha said, staring at his mate intently.</p>
<p>“I know, I trust you, Rem,” Emile reassured him.  Remy nodded and sat back, continuing to watch the cartoon on the screen.</p>
<p>Several minutes later, he launched himself into the beta’s arms without warning and kissed him fiercely, his hands coming up to cup Emile’s face roughly.</p>
<p>“Rem-” Emile tried to ask what was wrong, catching the heavy scent of distress drifting off his mate, but his lips were captured in another forceful kiss before he could speak again.  The alpha slipped his tongue inside his mate’s mouth and moaned quietly as their tongues slid together.</p>
<p>Emile suddenly found himself on his back against the sofa cushions with Remy biting and licking his way down his neck.  He could smell the intense pheromones coming from his mate.  They were extremely dominant and instantly made the beta feel the need to be taken and claimed.</p>
<p>They were halfway out of their clothes before Emile came to his senses enough to tear their lips apart.  He held Remy’s face so he couldn’t press back in and kiss him instead of answering.</p>
<p>“Hun, are you this worked up because we talked about Roman?” the beta asked softly, not sure what answer he wanted to hear.</p>
<p>Remy’s eyes locked with his and he blinked several times before sighing in frustration, “Damn it,” he muttered, pulling away to sit up.</p>
<p>Emile tugged his shirt back on quickly and looked away, “If you’re worked up because we talked about him, it’s okay, I just-”</p>
<p>“It’s not because I want him or miss him.  It’s because I can’t stand the thought of you not trusting me,” Remy whispered, pulling his knees up to his chest.</p>
<p>“I love you more than anything, Em.  I promise I will never hurt you.  I can’t bear the thought of hurting you in such a terrible way…” Remy trailed off, struggling to keep the tears at bay.</p>
<p>“So it’s not because you got turned on thinking about him?” Emile asked before he realized what he’d said.  He opened his mouth to apologize but the look on Remy’s face stopped him cold.</p>
<p>“No...fuck, Em, what the hell?!” Remy asked, shaking his head and standing quickly.  He was up the stairs and slamming the bathroom door before Emile had a chance to blink.</p>
<p>'It’s okay to express concerns...it’s okay to express concerns… healthy communication is necessary for relationships to work…it will be fine…'  Emile groaned in frustration, shoving his thoughts away.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Remy had noticed gradually, realizing things in the refrigerator or lunch box wouldn’t have moved in days, or realizing the only new dishes in the sink were his own.</p>
<p>Emile had always been thin, but after they’d made love a few times over the past few weeks after officially becoming mates, Remy began to realize just how thin.</p>
<p>One night, Remy had been at a late studio session with his group for a project and when he’d come back to the apartment they now shared, he found a bowl of dinner waiting for him.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Em, did you eat?” Remy asked nonchalantly as he dug into his bowl of pasta.</p>
<p>“Yep,” Emile said with a small smile, shifting and leaning towards the alpha.</p>
<p>“Oh, I wondered if maybe you’d forgotten, I didn’t see any dishes out in the kitchen,” Remy commented.</p>
<p>Emile stiffened, “Oh, I washed things up already,” he replied, shrugging off the question.</p>
<p>When Remy took his bowl out to the sink he glanced around.  The sink was filled with the pots to cook the pasta and sauce, and a baking sheet for the garlic bread.  But there were no bowls, plates or silverware to be found.</p>
<p>“Hey Em, where’s your bowl?  I’ll wash things,” Remy called into the living room.</p>
<p>“I...already washed mine, it’s in the cabinet, hun,” the beta answered.</p>
<p>Remy sighed and walked out to the living room, leaning against the doorframe.  “Em, did you really eat?” he asked gently.</p>
<p>Emile glanced up and frowned, “Yes, I told you I already put my dishes away,” he said.</p>
<p>“That’s not like you to stop in the middle of something, are you feeling okay?” Remy asked sincerely.</p>
<p>“I was just tired so I came in here, I can go finish them now,” the beta offered, hopping up.</p>
<p>As he tried to move past his mate, Remy stopped him gently, “Em, I’m just trying to make sure you’re alright.  It’s okay if you didn’t eat, I’m just checking in, babes,” he explained.</p>
<p>“Well...I appreciate the sentiment but I’m fine,” Emile said, moving towards the sink.</p>
<p>“But...did you not eat?” the alpha asked as he followed him.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t in the mood, it’s not a big deal, Rem, I’ll eat a big breakfast,” Emile shrugged, moving to roll up his sleeves and turn on the water in the sink.</p>
<p>“But...why did you tell me you’d eaten, babes?” the alpha questioned.</p>
<p>“Because I didn’t feel like arguing with you at 9:00 at night, Remy,” Emile snapped, his frustration breaking through his normally calm facade.  </p>
<p>Remy’s eyebrows were raised in surprise and Emile softened, “I’m sorry, that came out wrong,” he said more gently, “I didn’t feel like eating and I know it worries you, so I tried to go around it without actually lying.  And I’m sorry that I did end up lying to you, but I hate to fight with you, especially at 9:00 at night when we both need to try and wind down to go to sleep soon,” the beta explained.</p>
<p>“You’re fine, Em, I’m sorry I pushed you about it,” Remy apologized, coming up behind him and turning off the water.  “I don’t want to argue either, love.”  He wrapped his arms around the beta and added, “Come sit with me?  I really will wash these later, don’t worry about them.”</p>
<p>Emile softened and agreed, allowing the alpha to lead him back into the living room.</p>
<p>The following week, Emile came home and shrugged off his cardigan to make dinner.  He always insisted that cooking was something he truly enjoyed, and he cooked for them most nights.  Remy arrived home earlier than usual and kissed Emile hello before sitting at the kitchen table to keep him company.</p>
<p>In the middle of a conversation, Remy suddenly changed subjects, “Em, what the hell happened to your arm?”</p>
<p>“What?” Emile answered in confusion, turning to find the alpha suddenly standing behind him.</p>
<p>He reached out to touch a large bruise on his arm and Emile flinched away before he could stop himself.  “I tripped on the rug by my desk and just back into the corner of the shelf, I didn’t realize it was bruised though,” he reassured the alpha, glancing down at the bluish spot against his skin.</p>
<p>“It looks like it hurts,” Remy commented, staring down at the bruise maring Emile’s fair skin.  It was huge, spanning from the middle of his upper arm down to nearly his elbow.</p>
<p>“I’m really fine, hun,” Emile insisted with a smile and Remy let the discussion drop.</p>
<p>The following week, Remy came up behind his partner and hugged him close to his chest, “Hey, babes,” he murmured into the magenta colored hair.</p>
<p>The beta reached up to lay his small hands against the alpha’s arms crossed over his chest, “Hey, I missed you today,” he answered, leaning back to nuzzle against the taller man.  Remy hummed in agreement and nuzzled him in return.  The movement caused Emile’s shirt to slip down one shoulder and Remy immediately pressed his lips to the bare skin in a kiss.  Emile jumped and the alpha frowned, looking down and seeing another large bruise spanning across his mate’s skin.</p>
<p>“Are you wrestling patients now, Em?  How are you getting all these bruises?” Remy asked, feeling concerned.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Emile said honestly, glancing back at his own shoulder, “I must be bumping into things and not realizing it.”</p>
<p>Remy hummed in thought and wrapped his arms around his mate once more, sliding them lower to slide across the beta’s stomach and holding him protectively.</p>
<p>Later that evening, they sat together on the couch and Emile ended up in his mate’s lap.  Remy happily nibbled his way up the beta’s throat and Emile inched closer, slotting their hips together.  The alpha slid his hands down the smaller man’s sides as the beta leaned down to kiss him slowly, sliding their mouths together.  </p>
<p>Remy smoothed his hands under Emile’s shirt before tracing the sensitive skin on his sides, slipping his tongue inside the other man’s mouth and savoring the slight buzz he now felt whenever he kissed his mate.  The beta threaded his fingers through Remy’s hair and tugged him closer, nipping at his lower lip with a gentle bite.  The alpha slid his hands back up Emile’s sides and was startled to find the other man wasn’t wearing his binder.  </p>
<p>Happily exploring his mate’s skin on a day when he was feeling confident in his own body, Remy smoothed over the smaller man’s back and distantly noticed that his shoulder blades seemed more pronounced than a few days ago when they’d made love in the shower.  Trying to shake off the thought, Remy kissed him deeper and tugged his hips closer before sliding up his sides once more.  When he stopped, his fingers were resting against Emile’s ribs, his fingers slotting against the ridges much too easily.</p>
<p>The beta suddenly tried to pull away, but Remy stopped him gently, “Baby, have you been eating the last few days?  I know you’ve been super stressed but...you seem pretty thin compared to just the other day.  I can feel every rib...it’s kind of freaking me out…” he admitted, looking up into his mate’s hazel eyes.</p>
<p>Emile froze for a moment before frowning and quickly sliding out of the alpha’s lap, “Well I’m sorry I freak you out,” he muttered, tugging his shirt back down.</p>
<p>“Babes, that’s not what I meant, I just…” he trailed off as he tried to think of a better way to word how he was feeling.  “I’m just getting a little worried about how thin you’re getting.  We’ve been mated for a month and...I swear I feel like your clothes are getting looser just since we’ve moved in together,” he explained.</p>
<p>“Have you been eating, babes?” he added after an awkward pause.</p>
<p>“Yes, of course I’ve been eating,” Emile said with a wave of his hand dismissively, trying to deflect the question, “I eat little things throughout the day, I always have, that just works best for me.”</p>
<p>“Sweetheart...why do you smell so upset?  You can talk to me about this, you can talk to me about anything.  If you’re having trouble eating I’m sure we can try to figure out some way to make it easier,” Remy insisted.</p>
<p>“I...really don’t feel like having this conversation, I’m fine, everything’s fine,” Emile said, suddenly moving to stand from the sofa and place some space between himself and his mate.</p>
<p>Remy frowned, “I feel like not eating is a pretty important thing to talk about, Em,” he said, standing as well.  The urge to protect his new mate was suddenly overwhelming.</p>
<p>Emile stared at the alpha, his expression unreadable before he crossed his arms over his chest protectively, “You’re making this into a big deal and it’s really not,” he said evenly.</p>
<p>“Babes, I’m just worried about you,” Remy insisted, “You’re not eating, you’re getting thinner and you’re working all the time.  I’m just worried you’ll run yourself into the ground, that’s all.  I’m really not trying to be pushy...” he added.</p>
<p>“I have a harder time eating when I’m stressed, it’s fine, I promise,” the beta answered, shifting as Remy came up to wrap him in his arms.</p>
<p>“If eating is something you struggle with it’s okay, I’d just like to know so I can help you out instead of saying or doing something that could accidentally make it worse,” Remy explained, looking down into hazel eyes.</p>
<p>Remy cupped his mate’s face, painfully aware of the sharp cheekbone underneath his thumb,“You’ve always been tiny, but your clothes are getting so loose and you have bruises all the time,” the alpha took a breath before continuing.  “I don’t know the last time I actually saw you eat, Em, and it scares the shit out of me.”</p>
<p>“I’m fine, Remy, it’s really not a big deal,” Emile tried to reassure him, reaching up to lay comforting hands against the alpha's chest.</p>
<p>Remy gently wrapped his own hands around the beta’s, “You’ve always been so cold, it never made sense to me, but it’s starting to now...” Remy said gently.  Emile’s hazel eyes widened before he could school his expression into something neutral.  The scent surrounding his mate was quickly turning sour with anxiety.</p>
<p>“Do you have an eating disorder, Em?” the alpha asked quietly.</p>
<p>The beta was quiet for a moment too long before he answered, “No, I just can’t eat a lot when I’m stressed out...”</p>
<p>“Babes, what’s making you so nervous right now?” Remy asked calmly.</p>
<p>“I’m not nervous,” Emile answered defensively, trying to take a step back but the alpha held on gently.</p>
<p>“Your scent has completely changed in the last 30 seconds, Em,” Remy pointed out calmly.</p>
<p>“We have to be honest with each other if this is going to work, babes, you know that.  You taught me that way back when I first started seeing you for therapy.  If you’re not honest with yourself, you have a harder time being honest with the people around you,” Remy reminded him, his tone still gentle.</p>
<p>The beta stiffened in his arms, “You’re right, we do need to be honest, but I’m not hiding anything from you,” he said, trying to pull away from the closeness of the taller man.</p>
<p>“Then why are you getting upset?” Remy asked, shaking his head in confusion.</p>
<p>“Maybe because you’re giving me the third degree!” Emile said sharply.</p>
<p>“Babes, I can help you out, be there for you in whatever ways you need,” Remy said, holding onto him gently, “you just have to let me in.”</p>
<p>“You’re already in,” the beta said, finally pulling completely away and turning to walk into the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Maybe if we figured out what triggers your feelings we could fix it,” Remy said, grasping at straws, “You said you can’t eat when you’re stressed: let’s try to figure out what specific things trigger your stress to this degree so we can make a plan,” he added, trying to sound hopeful.</p>
<p>Emile stopped and looked at him with a negative gaze for the first time he could ever recall and it shocked Remy into silence.</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare try to psychoanalyze me,” Emile said coldly, crossing his arms and narrowing his hazel eyes at the alpha.</p>
<p>“I’m just trying to help!  If we could sit down and look at the issues then maybe we could find healthy ways to deal with things,” Remy said, “I’ve been reading about different ways I could try to help you get through this,” he added.  The thought had popped into his head the week before and he’d searched the internet to find out anything that could possibly help if they ever did end up having this conversation.</p>
<p>“Or you could save your energy and focus on the healthy ways you should be working to deal with things and just leave me alone,” Emile snapped, glaring.</p>
<p>Remy stood in the middle of the room, feeling flabbergasted.</p>
<p>“Let’s see,” Emile ticked off his fingers, “Still drinking coffee late into the night to avoid sleeping and nightmares.  Wearing sunglasses so you don’t have to make eye contact with people.  Have you ever actually called up any of the friends or lovers you pushed away and walked all over?  We discussed how that could be really beneficial for you and help you heal.  Have you ever given Roman a call to check in on him?  You’re always so worried about him and if you ruined his life by fucking someone who was clearly mated for months.  And I know it still eats away at you because you bring it up all the time...should I go on?” the beta asked sarcastically.  </p>
<p>Remy had never seen this side of his partner, but his comments stabbed a hole in his gut.  “You’re...just trying to deflect onto me so we don’t have to talk about your eating disorder-” his words were cut off.</p>
<p>“Fuck off, Remy!  I don’t have an eating disorder, I’m fine!  I’m a fucking psychiatrist, I deal with people who have eating disorders all the time!  Don’t you think I’d know how to keep myself from having one?  Why don’t you go get some of your own shit together before you try to get tangled up in mine?” the beta yelled, looking disgusted.</p>
<p>“Emmy…” the alpha tried to speak but was cut off once more.</p>
<p>“No, don’t touch me,” Emile hissed, shrugging off the alpha’s attempt to hug him.  His scent was extremely distressing and Remy longed to comfort him.</p>
<p>“Emile!  Please…” Remy said, feeling desperate to calm the other man.  Usually he could scoop him up and calm him immediately.  He wrapped his arms around him, “I’m sorry for upsetting you, I just want to help, babes,” he explained.  </p>
<p>Emile stayed still until he’d finished speaking before trying to tug away again.  He was so weak, he barely moved the alpha when he pushed against his chest, and Remy’s heart broke.</p>
<p>The beta pressed his hands against his chest and tried to push him off again, but was unsuccessful. </p>
<p>“Emmy, please baby,” the alpha said, frantically trying to calm his partner, “I’m not trying to call you out for anything, I’m just so worried about you.”</p>
<p>“Let me go,” Emile pleaded, his voice sounding choked, and something in the desperate tone made Remy let go immediately.</p>
<p>The beta moved away, refusing to meet Remy’s gaze as he breathed hard.  He brought a hand up to his chest and made several choked off gasping noises, still trying to walk into the other room.  The beta reached out to hold onto the wall unsteadily and he was panting now, his hand clutching his chest.  He staggered slightly and Remy caught him before he slid down to the floor.  His eyes were screwed shut and his breathing was labored, “I can’t...please...” was all he managed to get out between gasps.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, breathe in for 4 seconds,” Remy said, realizing his mate was panicking.  “Come on baby, breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, there you go, now hold it for 7 seconds.  You’ve got this, come on, let it out for 8 seconds, you’re doing amazing, Em, keep going…”</p>
<p>Eventually, the beta had calmed enough to breathe normally and he leaned against his mate tiredly, bursting into tears and sobbing into his t-shirt.</p>
<p>Remy apologized over and over as he rubbed Emile’s back and held him close.  Eventually he asked, “Can I get you to the sofa?” and he received a weak nod in return.  The alpha lifted him up bridal style with frightening ease and walked him over to the sofa when he sat him down in his lap, still holding him against his chest.</p>
<p>Eventually, Emile said something, but Remy didn’t catch the words, “What was that, Em?” he asked gently.</p>
<p>“I’m s-sorry I yelled at you, you’re..d-doing great...I’m sorry…” he said as he scrubbed his face to remove any tears still lingering, “I truly didn’t mean any of those things…please forgive me...”</p>
<p>“It’s alright, I love you, it’s okay, I’m not upset,” Remy insisted, pressing a kiss to his temple.</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t have yelled at you…” Emile reiterated quietly.</p>
<p>“You’re human, and I was pushing you too far, it’s okay to react.  But I really just wanted to help, not back you into a corner,” Remy reassured him.</p>
<p>“It’s getting really bad this time,” Emile whispered so softly, Remy had to strain to hear the words.</p>
<p>“What’s bad…?” the alpha clarified, fearing he already knew the answer.</p>
<p>“Eating...it never lasts this long...but I can’t stop this time…” Emile explained, bursting into tears once more and clinging to his partner desperately.</p>
<p>“Usually...I only get this way for...a few days,” he explained through his tears, “but I look at myself and I’m so disgusted…”</p>
<p>Remy’s heart ached for the man in his arms as he continued, “I hate my body and how I look...I keep waiting for you to realize mating with me was a mistake because I’m not normal…” He leaned forward and sobbed brokenly.</p>
<p>Eventually the tears had subsided enough for Emile to quietly explain, “The...smaller I am, the less curves I have.  My face isn’t as feminine looking when it gets thinner and...I look more like a man...I look at food and all I can see are the calories and think about how it’s going to immediately go to all those places I’m trying so fucking hard to slim down.”</p>
<p>Remy couldn’t find the right words even though he longed to say something that could bring the smaller man some comfort, so he pulled Emile in closer to his chest and murmured how much he loved him until the other man finally calmed.</p>
<p>“Can we just...go to sleep now, please?” Emile asked tearfully, looking exhausted.  Remy nodded and they stood before making their way towards the bedroom.</p>
<p>Remy spooned up behind his exhausted mate, who fell asleep quickly.  The alpha lay awake for a long while, unable to focus on anything besides the impossibly small waist his arm was currently wrapped around.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Several nights later, Emile leaned in to brush their lips together, the kiss quickly turning heated as they pulled one another close.  </p>
<p>“Missed you, Em,” Remy murmured against his partner’s lips before diving back in, teasing them open and flicking his tongue inside.  Emile made a noise of agreement and tugged the alpha closer.  Remy wrapped his hands around his mates’ waist and tugged him into his lap, Emile’s legs on either side of the alpha’s as he straddled him.</p>
<p>Noticing the hard length already pressing against him, Emile grinned and changed the angle of their kiss as he rolled his hips down into Remy’s.  The alpha’s pheromones were undeniably strong and Emile sighed happily as he breathed them in.</p>
<p>Remy was always careful to never push Emile for anything physical, wanting him to know that he respected him and didn’t ever want him to feel pressured.  Knowing this, Emile took the situation into his own hands and slid his hands up and under the alpha’s jacket, sliding the leather down his strong arms.  Remy smiled against him, biting his lip teasingly.</p>
<p>“Are you in the mood?” the beta asked softly, finally pulling away long enough to ask the question.  </p>
<p>He didn’t miss the way Remy’s dark eyes lit up at the question, “Hell yes,” he breathed, leaning back up to kiss the smaller man again.  Emile grinned and stripped Remy’s shirt off before leaning in to slide his hands appreciatively over the bare skin.  The alpha easily tugged off Emile’s shorts and boxers in one smooth movement before shimmying out of his own.</p>
<p>“Are you wet, babes?” Remy whispered in his ear before nipping at the skin with his teeth, “or do we need lube?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m so wet for you,” the beta insisted, shifting as he felt the delicious slickness at his center.  He moved up onto his knees to position himself as Remy held his large, thick cock steady for him.  Emile leaned forward to kiss Remy once more as the head pushed through the opening of his wet cunt. </p>
<p>Emile sank down slowly onto Remy’s hard cock and shuddered at the size.  He absently wondered if taking his length would ever get any easier the longer they were together, but he was snapped out of his thoughts as the alpha settled his hands on either hip.</p>
<p>“God, you’re always so tight,” Remy murmured, “You feel so amazing, baby,” he added.  The beta grinned and rolled his hips experimentally, causing the man underneath him to groan.  They’d made love so many times during the last few months and Emile was just starting to break out of his comfort zone by taking the lead.  Determined to let Remy relax and just feel this time, he gripped the alpha’s shoulders and shifted until the angle felt right.  </p>
<p>He moved to let his knees press down against the sofa cushions and he leaned in to kiss his partner again as he started to bounce up and down on the thick length inside his cunt.</p>
<p>Remy cursed against the beta’s lips and his fingers tightened on his mates’ sides, settling where his waist curved inwards.  Much too soon, Emile was breathing hard and he pulled away, “Hang on, sorry,” he muttered, trying to summon enough strength to keep riding Remy’s cock.</p>
<p>But there was simply no energy left to be had.  He tried once more to move up and down but after a few moments he sighed in frustration, “I...don’t have enough energy to keep going, I’m sorry, Rem…” he trailed off, feeling disappointed.  </p>
<p>“It’s alright, Em, do you want to keep going, though?  We can stop if you need to,” Remy asked, stroking damp magenta hair back from the beta’s forehead.  </p>
<p>Emile nodded emphatically, “Yes, I just can’t...do this position anymore right now,” he explained, feeling a wave of something he couldn't quite place.</p>
<p>“No worries, babes, I’ve got you,” he reassured his partner, carefully pulling out before repositioning them across the sofa.  He laid Emile on his back and leaned down to prop himself up over his mate, kissing him slowly.  The beta shifted to spread his thighs wide and the alpha slotted his hips between them easily.  He positioned the head of his leaking cock against Emile’s slick entrance and pressed back inside.</p>
<p>Later, when Emile was tugging on a shirt, Remy glanced over and did a double take at the sight of the beta’s back.  There were obvious bruises where his fingers held onto him, and it hadn’t been very hard at all.  He was still staring at the alarming sight when Emile tugged his t-shirt down over himself and turned towards him.</p>
<p>Bruising so easily, his hands around the beta’s tiny waist and his partner not having enough strength to be on top of him during sex all came together to uncomfortably remind the alpha that his partner did have some sort of eating disorder whether he wanted to admit it or not and it was obviously starting to take it’s toll on his body.</p>
<p>Remy lay awake for a long time that night as he stared at the ceiling and wondered what in the world to do about his mate.  By the time he woke up the next morning, he felt no closer to having any ideas than he had the previous night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is where Remy and Emile's story branches off (for now) and we explore Thomas/Roman/Janus' relationship and eventually how all five men's stories come together.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>